IELTS Essay Band 5: Letter, Inquiry to a friend

Question
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You have been offered a job that will require you to move to a city you have never visited before. You have a friend who lives there.

Write a letter to your friend. In your letter:

Explain your situation Say why you feel unsure about living in the city Ask some questions about life in the city

Your submission
Dear Alex, I am writing to you to let you know that I have received a job offer to work
, Canada.
never been there and you
in the city for
I was wondering
you can help me with some information about
I am not a hundred percent sure about
this offer. As you know my wife is pregnant again and
are
elementary school.
with my whole family will be very
In addition, I am concerned about the
in the
I have heard that winter sometimes is very intense. But I would like
to clarify some
I have about the city
is the medical system
assistance for pregnancy? Could you recommend a good neighbourhood to live in? How the whether really is there?
from you soon.
. Daniel Clement
Your band
5
Overall band

Bandscore

CATEGORY
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
Task Achievement


Band: 6

Grammatical Range & Accuracy


Band: 4

Coherence & Cohesion


Band: 6

Lexical Resource


Band: 4

Band breakdown
6

Task Achievement

You have done a good job of addressing the task and maintaining a consistent and appropriate tone throughout your letter. However, you could improve your task achievement by providing more details about your situation and your concerns about moving, and by asking more specific questions about life in the city. Remember to stay focused on the task and to use clear and specific language.

Band breakdown & tips
  • Provide more details about the job offer, such as the type of job and why it requires you to move.
  • Express your concerns about moving in more detail, such as specific worries about your wife's pregnancy and your children's education.
  • Ask more specific questions about life in the city, such as the availability of medical services for pregnant women and the quality of local schools.
4

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

You have made a good attempt at writing a letter, but there are several areas where you need to improve. Your use of grammar and punctuation needs to be more accurate and you need to use a wider range of sentence structures. You also need to check your spelling and make sure you are using the correct words. Keep practicing and you will improve.

Band breakdown & tips
  • Use correct articles before nouns.
  • Use correct verb tenses.
  • Use correct word usage.
  • Use correct punctuation and spacing.
  • Use a wider range of sentence structures.
6

Coherence and Cohesion

You have done a good job of organizing your ideas and expressing your concerns about moving to a new city. However, there are areas where you could improve. For example, you could make the transitions between sentences smoother to make the relationships between ideas clearer. You could also be more explicit in stating your main concerns. Finally, try to include more than one idea in each paragraph to improve paragraphing.

Band breakdown & tips
  • Improve the transition between sentences to make the relationships between ideas clearer.
  • Be more explicit in stating the main concerns.
  • Include more than one idea in each paragraph to improve paragraphing.
  • Avoid unnecessary repetition of ideas.
4

Lexical Resource

You have made a good attempt at writing a letter, but there are several areas where you can improve. Your vocabulary is quite basic and repetitive, and there are several spelling and grammar mistakes. You should aim to use a wider range of vocabulary and make sure to proofread your work to correct any errors. Also, remember to use appropriate and formal language in a letter.

Band breakdown & tips
  • Replace 'whether' with 'weather'
  • Replace 'huges' with 'hugs'
  • Use more varied and advanced vocabulary
  • Proofread the letter to correct spelling and grammar mistakes
  • Use more formal language in a letter, such as 'Best regards' instead of 'Kisses and hugs'
Word count
152
150
152
Recommended word count: 150+
Paragraph count
3
3
3
4
Recommended paragraph count: 3-4
Grammar errors
Writing clarity
The purpose of the letter could be made clearer by using more specific language and providing more details about the job offer and the writer's concerns about moving.
Grammatical structures
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, the range of structures is limited and there are errors in the complex sentences.
Relationships between ideas
The relationships between ideas in the essay are generally clear, but there are some instances where the connection between sentences could be improved. For example, the transition from discussing the job offer to the writer's concerns about moving could be smoother.