IELTS Essay Band 5: Letter, Inquiry to a friend

Question
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You have been offered a job that will require you to move to a city you have never visited before. You have a friend who lives there.

Write a letter to your friend. In your letter:

  • Explain your situation
  • Say why you feel unsure about living in the city
  • Ask some questions about life in the city
Your submission
Dear Alex, I am writing to you to let you know that I have received a job offer to work in Vancouver-BC, Canada.
and
, I was wondering whether you can help me with some information about living in there. I am not a hundred percent sure
. As you know my wife is pregnant again and
are
elementary school.
will be very
In addition, I am concerned about
, I have heard that
. But I would like
I have about the city such
Could you recommend a good neighbourhood to live in?
.
. Daniel Clements
Your band
5
Overall band

Bandscore

CATEGORY
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
Task Achievement


Band: 5

Grammar


Band: 4

Coherence & Cohesion


Band: 6

Lexical Resource


Band: 4

Band breakdown
5

Task Achievement

You have done a good job of addressing the task, but there are areas where you could provide more detail. For example, you could provide more information about the job offer and why you are uncertain about moving. You could also ask more specific questions about life in the city. Your tone is appropriate and consistent, and you stay focused on the task throughout the letter.

Band breakdown & tips
  • Provide more details about the job offer.
  • Explain more clearly why you are uncertain about moving.
  • Ask more specific questions about life in the city.
4

Grammar

You have made a good attempt at writing a letter, but there are several areas for improvement. Your sentence structures are a mix of simple and complex, but there are errors in your complex sentences. Your spelling and word usage also need improvement. Despite these errors, your letter is still understandable. Keep practicing and focus on improving your grammar and spelling.

Band breakdown & tips
  • Improve verb tense usage
  • Correct spelling errors
  • Ensure spaces after punctuation
  • Improve sentence structure
  • Use correct words
6

Coherence and Cohesion

You have done a good job of organizing your ideas and expressing your concerns and questions. However, you could improve the coherence and cohesion of your essay by using more linking words and phrases, making your concerns and questions more explicit and detailed, and using separate paragraphs for different aspects of your situation. Also, try to use a greater variety of linking words and phrases to avoid repetition.

Band breakdown & tips
  • Use more linking words and phrases to improve the flow of the text.
  • Make your concerns and questions more explicit and detailed.
  • Use separate paragraphs for different aspects of your situation.
  • Use a greater variety of linking words and phrases to avoid repetition.
4

Lexical Resource

Dear Daniel, your lexical resource needs improvement. You have used a limited range of vocabulary and there is a lack of variation in expression. There are several errors in word formation and spelling that make your meaning unclear. I suggest you to improve your spelling and word formation, use a wider range of vocabulary, use vocabulary more flexibly and accurately, use more precise words to convey your meaning, and use idiomatic expressions to make your writing more natural. Keep practicing!

Band breakdown & tips
  • Improve your spelling and word formation.
  • Use a wider range of vocabulary to express your thoughts and concerns.
  • Use vocabulary more flexibly and accurately.
  • Use more precise words to convey your meaning.
  • Use idiomatic expressions to make your writing more natural.
Your strong phrases
I am writing to you to let you know
I have received a job offer
I am not a hundred percent sure
Move with my whole family will be very challenging
I am concerned about the whether in the region
I would like your help to clarify some doubts
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