IELTS Essay Band 7.5: Apology to a friend, broken bowl
While your friend was away on vacation, you stayed in his apartment. While you were there, you dropped an expensive bowl and broke it.
Write a letter to your friend. In your letter
- explain what happened
- apologize for the accident
- tell your friend what you plan to do about the bowl
Bandscore
Band: 7
Band: 8
Band: 7
Band: 7
Task Achievement
You have done a good job in addressing the task. The purpose of the letter is clear, and you have addressed each part of the question. The tone is appropriate and consistent. However, you could have been more direct in stating the purpose of the letter and provided more details about the replacement bowl. Also, expressing more remorse for the accident could have made the letter more effective.
- State the purpose of the letter immediately after the greetings.
- Provide more details about the replacement bowl, such as when and how it will be delivered.
- Express more remorse for the accident.
Grammar
You have done an excellent job in terms of grammatical range and accuracy. Your sentences are well-structured and clear, and you have used a variety of sentence forms. Your punctuation is also well managed. Keep up the good work, and try to incorporate more varied vocabulary in your writing.
- The essay is already well-written in terms of grammar and sentence structure. However, the writer could use more varied vocabulary to enhance the richness of the text.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have done a good job of organizing your ideas and linking them together in a logical manner. Your use of cohesive devices, such as sequencing and reasons, is effective in guiding the reader through your text. However, you could improve your essay by using more varied cohesive devices and more complex sentence structures. Keep practicing and you will continue to improve.
- The writer could use more varied cohesive devices, such as contrast or restating, to enhance the coherence and cohesion of the essay.
- The writer could also use more complex sentence structures to make the essay more engaging.
Lexical Resource
You have done a good job in using a wide range of vocabulary in your essay. Your word choice is precise and appropriate, and you have used vocabulary flexibly to express your thoughts and feelings. However, you could improve your Lexical Resource score by using more idiomatic expressions and experimenting with more complex sentence structures. Keep up the good work!
- Try to use more idiomatic expressions to make your writing more natural and fluent.
- Experiment with more complex sentence structures to demonstrate a wider range of vocabulary.