The definite article 'the' should be used before 'elderly' to refer to the elderly population as a group.

The verb 'are' is added to form the passive voice, making the sentence grammatically correct.

There should be a comma before 'which' to introduce the non-restrictive clause, and 'has' should be 'have' to agree with the plural subject 'televisions'.

The word 'blogger' should be plural 'bloggers' to match 'YouTubers', and 'you tubers' should be corrected to the proper spelling 'YouTubers'.

The singular 'drawback' should be plural 'drawbacks' to match the plural 'benefits', and 'outweighs' should be 'outweigh' to agree with the plural subject 'drawbacks'.

The correction changes 'advance' to its plural form 'advances' to match the plural verb 'have' that follows, and removes the unnecessary definite article 'The' for a general statement.

The phrase 'increasing number' should be preceded by the indefinite article 'an'.

There should be a comma instead of a period after 'celebrities' to connect the two independent clauses.

The subject 'technology' is singular, so it should be followed by the singular verb 'has'. The correction ensures subject-verb agreement.

There should be a comma after 'essay' to separate the introductory phrase from the main clause.

The word 'internet' should not be capitalized unless it is at the beginning of a sentence.

The word 'buy' is a misspelling and should be corrected to 'by' to indicate the means by which something is achieved.

The word 'peoples' should have an apostrophe to show possession: 'people's insecurities'.

The word 'vlogger' should be plural 'vloggers' to match the plural form of 'bloggers' and 'YouTubers'.

The verb 'force' is used in the infinitive form to follow the structure 'to force', which is appropriate after the verb 'can'.

The word 'tonnes' should be the American spelling 'tons' if following American English conventions, or it should remain 'tonnes' if following British English conventions. Since the rest of the text does not clearly indicate a preference for either convention, this correction is optional.

The informal term 'legit' should be replaced with the formal 'legitimate' in formal writing.

The preposition 'of' is used to indicate a relationship involving a part or a portion of something, which is more appropriate in this context than 'among'.

The word 'that' is used instead of 'which' to introduce a restrictive clause, indicating that the clause is essential to the meaning of the sentence.

The word 'that' is used instead of 'which' to introduce a restrictive clause, which is necessary to define the antecedent in the sentence.

The preposition 'to' is used instead of 'into' to indicate direction towards a particular location or recipient, rather than entry into something.

IELTS Essay Band 6: Power of Advertising