IELTS Essay Band 8: Expansion of International Companies and Globalization

Question
question icon

The spread of multinational companies and the resulting increase of globalization will have positive effects on everyone.

To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Your submission
In recent years, the expansion of international companies has accelerated the pace of globalization. While such a trend could be beneficial to some people, I would argue that it is not true for all individuals in the world. To begin with, globalization will improve many people’s life quality
way that services and products can be more easily accessed. This is because globalization is often accompanied
frequent trade in goods and technology among countries, making these not constrained to the local market, but easily acquired from other regions as well. For instance, because of
international expansion, most of us are waiting shorter, and paying a much lower price when taking a ride. Conversely, if such
were only accessible in the U.S, then less people would be able to enjoy such a convenient and
lifestyle. Nevertheless, the proliferation of international companies may affect some employees in a negative way as there will be fewer job opportunities. The reason for that
order to cut operational expenses, corporations tend to migrate their manufacturers to countries where tax rates and human
are much cheaper. As a consequence, employees who work at
will be under great risk of losing the job, and be put under a pressing financial burden if it finally happens. In conclusion, although the rise in globalization can affect most of us positively, in the sense that we can enjoy life better with high quality goods, it might also harm some people due to reduction in job opportunities and the contaminant unemployment.
Your band
8
Overall band

Bandscore

CATEGORY
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
Task Achievement


Band: 7

Grammar


Band: 7

Coherence & Cohesion


Band: 8

Lexical Resource


Band: 8

Band breakdown
7

Task Achievement

This essay demonstrates a good understanding of the task and presents a clear and well-developed response to the question. The writer effectively discusses both the positive and negative effects of the spread of multinational companies and globalization, providing specific examples to support their points. However, the introduction could be improved by providing a brief overview of the points that will be discussed in the essay. Additionally, the counter-argument could be further developed by discussing potential solutions to the problems caused by globalization.

Band breakdown & tips
  • The writer could improve the introduction by providing a brief overview of the points they will discuss in the essay.
  • The writer could provide more specific examples to support their points.
  • The writer could further develop their counter-argument by discussing the potential solutions to the problems caused by globalization.
7

Grammar

You have demonstrated a good understanding of English grammar and sentence structure. Your essay is well structured and your points are clear. However, there are a few grammatical errors that you need to pay attention to. These include the use of articles, the correct form of words, the use of plurals, and the use of terms related to business and economics. With some attention to these areas, your writing will improve significantly.

Band breakdown & tips
  • Ensure proper use of articles ('a', 'an', 'the').
  • Use the correct form of words (e.g., 'economic' vs 'economical').
  • Ensure proper use of plurals ('fewer' vs 'less').
  • Ensure proper use of terms related to business and economics ('manufacturing' vs 'manufacturers').
8

Coherence and Cohesion

You have done a good job of organizing your ideas and linking them together. Your use of cohesive devices and linking words is effective, and your argument is easy to follow. However, you could improve the coherence and cohesion of your essay by using more varied cohesive devices, making the transition between paragraphs smoother, and using more complex sentence structures.

Band breakdown & tips
  • Use more varied cohesive devices
  • Make the transition between paragraphs smoother
  • Use more complex sentence structures to enhance coherence
8

Lexical Resource

You have done a good job in using a wide range of vocabulary to express your ideas. Your word choice is precise and appropriate, and you have used vocabulary flexibly. However, you could improve your writing by using more idiomatic expressions. Keep up the good work and continue to expand your vocabulary.

Band breakdown & tips
  • Try to use more idiomatic expressions to make your writing more natural and fluent.
  • Continue to expand your vocabulary to express your ideas more precisely and accurately.
Your strong phrases
the expansion of international companies has accelerated the pace of globalization
globalization will improve many people’s life quality
frequent trade in goods and technology among countries
the proliferation of international companies may affect some employees in a negative way
corporations tend to migrate their manufacturers to countries where tax rates and human capitals are much cheaper
under a pressing financial burden

You deserve a better score!

Unlock the power of IELTSWritingPro and gain a competitive edge in your IELTS exam preparations. Our software employs advanced algorithms tailored to assess your essays based on the four core evaluation criteria, making it easier than ever to identify weak points and perfect your writing.

logo
Copyright 2023 IELTSWritingPro. All rights reserved.
IELTS is a registered trademark of University of Cambridge ESOL, the British Council, and IDP Education Australia. IELTSWritingPro is not affiliated, approved or endorsed by the University of Cambridge ESOL, the British Council, and IDP Education Australia.
Terms & ConditionsPrivacy Policy