IELTS Essay Band 6.5: Power of Advertising

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Today, the high sales of popular goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real need of the society in which they are sold. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Your submission
Advertisements have played a major role in influencing people’s choice of products irrespective of their needs. In this essay I would like to discuss my opinion
an easily accessible source. The Internet and its various search engines
with numerous advertisements done by
fall for this tactic and end up buying products which might not be of use to them. For instance, in a recent interview a renowned cricketer was seen drinking a particular beverage which led to a drastic increase in the sales of that beverage. Many such instances have been noted which have led to overwhelming sales of a particular product just because a famous celebrity was seen using it or advertising it. In addition,
on televisions which has been one
the oldest modes of advertising and is still quite popular
and children. In the past, newspapers were used predominantly
in the present
number of platforms to showcase products they are not as popular anymore. Furthermore, many apps have mandatory ads
cannot be skipped and thus
people to watch them. This could also contribute to many
. Subsequently, advertisements target
insecurities and make
out of them. Many times, the contents of these ads are quite racist and demeaning. For instance, fairness cream ads that portray a dark-skinned person turning fair
. They promote racism and make people who are dark skinned feel inferior. Another exploited area includes products which focus on weight loss. They showcase that loss of excess fat is possible by drinking a particular tea or wearing a particular material. Many fall prey to them and get disheartened when they don’t work. As of late, many companies have been paying popular
to review and advertise their products, especially their latest gadgets. At times their reliability can be questionable but most of the time they seem legit. However, even this can contribute to an increasing number of unwanted purchases especially among gadget freaks. In conclusion, even though advertising has its benefits, in my opinion
. Many industries have thrived using advertisements to attract people
buying their product even when not required.
Your band
Overall band


Task Achievement

Band: 6


Band: 5

Coherence & Cohesion

Band: 7

Lexical Resource

Band: 7

Band breakdown

Task Achievement

You have written a well-structured and focused essay that clearly addresses the question. Your position is clear and you provide several relevant examples to support your arguments. However, your essay is longer than the recommended length and you could make your points more concisely. Additionally, your conclusion could be improved by summarizing the main points of your essay and restating your position.

Band breakdown & tips
  • The writer could improve the conclusion by summarizing the main points of the essay and restating their position.
  • The writer could make their points more concisely to reduce the length of the essay.
  • The writer could provide more analysis of the examples they provide to further support their position.


You have made a good attempt at addressing the essay prompt. However, there are several areas where you could improve. Your essay contains a number of grammatical errors, particularly in verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and article usage. These errors can make your essay difficult to read and understand. Additionally, your range of sentence structures is limited and repetitive. Try to incorporate a wider variety of structures to make your essay more engaging. Finally, be sure to proofread your essay for spelling errors.

Band breakdown & tips
  • Improve verb tense consistency
  • Ensure correct subject-verb agreement
  • Use articles appropriately
  • Expand the range of sentence structures used
  • Proofread for spelling errors

Coherence and Cohesion

You have done a good job of presenting a clear and coherent argument in this essay. Your use of examples to support your points is effective, and your ideas are logically sequenced. However, there are areas where you could improve. In particular, you should work on improving transitions between ideas and avoiding repetition of phrases. Additionally, try to use a wider variety of linking words and phrases to introduce examples.

Band breakdown & tips
  • Use a wider variety of linking words and phrases to introduce examples, rather than relying on 'for instance'.
  • Improve transitions between ideas, particularly in the second paragraph.
  • Avoid repetition of ideas and phrases to enhance coherence and cohesion.

Lexical Resource

You have demonstrated a good range of vocabulary in your essay. Your word choice is precise and you have used vocabulary flexibly to express your ideas. However, there are a few errors in word formation and spelling, such as 'you tubers' instead of 'YouTubers'. These errors do not make the meaning unclear, but they do detract from the overall quality of your writing. I would suggest that you pay more attention to correct spelling and word formation in your future essays. Also, try to use more idiomatic expressions to enhance your lexical resource.

Band breakdown & tips
  • Ensure correct spelling and word formation, for example 'YouTubers' instead of 'you tubers'.
  • Try to use more idiomatic expressions to enhance your lexical resource.
  • Avoid repetition of certain words and phrases to demonstrate a wider range of vocabulary.